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Why I Love RiRi
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5 Quirky V-Day Date Ideas
Ah, in 9 days the day of lovers hits again and if you're in LA, it might be time to do something a little different from the norm.
So here are 5 not-just-plain-ol'-dinner-and-flowers escapades that you and your man can experience, to make a nice contrast to more traditional set-ups.
Of course, there's just as much opportunity for singles to have a blast and who knows, you might even meet your next Valentine...here:
1) MORTIFIED: I was actually in this show last year and it was an absolute hoot. I mean how could a night of hearing angst ridden embarrassing teenage diaries not be? The entire night of Mortified (which includes a live band) makes for some stellar entertainment and is just amazingly original and creative. The ratio of couples to singles was pretty 50/50 and there was plenty of time after the show for a late night romantic dinner or post-theater drinks. I love these guys, so this is my TOP RECOMMENDATION.
2) LACMA: If you're in the mood for early evening culture, consider browsing the worldwide modern collections in the Ahmanson building, including the Stanley Kubrick exhibit. The doors stay open for the extended time frame of 6 to 9pm, so you have plenty of the night to fill afterwards. You can even purchase a special package to have a romantic dinner there after your viewing (although, admittedly, I don't know what the food is like "on campus.").
3) LUCHA VA VOOM: Wait, did someone invent a V-Day show with Mexican-masked wrestlers and half-naked dancing girls? Ah-mazing. Good news too, if you're date is kinda conservative and isn't into watching kinky stuff for V-Day, you can go solo the night before (Feb 13th) and tell her what she missed out on the next night. Oh, and what "ideas" you now have for you and her later...
4) STAR HELICOPTERS: For those who can splurge on a good time, grab a picnic basket and champagne bucket (with champagne...of course) and whisk you and your loved one over LA, in a chopper, to enjoy the beautiful scenery below. I know 2 couples who did this and they swear it was the most amazing Valentine's Day they ever had. (Well, imagine being drunk on champagne and looking down at the beaches and night lights...sounds like some fun fuzzy stuff!)
5) SUNSET RANCH: Alright, so horses and romance are not necessarily two words you see in the same sentence but the 4 hour "Dinner Ride" which takes you from Sunset Ranch to a lovely Mexican restaurant may be just the kind of thing you and your outdoorsy sweetheart would fall for. And just think, if her horse suddenly goes nuts and gallops away, you can chase after her like a real stud and "rescue her."
Happy V-day booking!!
P.S. Outkast:
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"My Baby's Got A Secret"
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places."
(Roald Dahl)
"A writer should have that little voice inside of you saying tell the truth. Reveal a few secrets here."
(Quentin Tarintino)
"The great advantage about telling the truth is that no one ever believes it."
(Dorothy L. Sayers)
"There are no secrets that time does not reveal."
(Jean Racine)
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What About Bob? (That I found out.)
I finally got to see the documentary "Marley" and you know it's great when it's packed lots of things about the pop icon that you didn't know before.
Bob.
Let's face it, he's the dude whose album gets listened to by kids smoking weed in their dorm, the voice emitting from the beach bar when you're on a package vacation sipping Pina Coladas with your friends, the marathon reggae night playing on the "Wave," or some radio station that sounds like that, while you're soaking in a bath of hot oils (not bath salts cause that might turn you into a flesh-eating zombie) and most of all, he's what you listen to...
...when you wanna chilllllll the hell out!
Bob.
One thing I gotta say (and what the documentary emphasized most) was it was close to miraculous how he could produce such loving music, such music with messages of peace and unity, from such a whirlwind background of...basically...suffering.
Yes- I remember pinning (Pinterest, that is...yup I'm a geek) a great quote from the man- "One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." And, to be honest, that's exactly what Bob Marley created- music to alleviate pain, probably taking much of his inspiration from the stuff he smoked.
Okay, so all you crazed Bob Marley fans are probably like- "Thesy, this is old news, we know everything about Bob, man!" Okay, but it's my blog and I really didn't know this stuff:
1) Bob was half white:
Not only was he half white (through his father who seemed to have a lot fun rampaging around the island on a horse having affairs with island women) but Bob looked exactly like his dad! I mean, there is NO QUESTION of parentage because when you see the only photo of Bob's father (again, white dude on a horse) you pretty much realize that Bob is the dark facsimile.
It was tough being an outsider- Bob was teased and ousted and called "German Boy" a lot by the kids in his village. It was even tougher when, as a struggling musician in Trench Town, he decided to visit the "Marley Factory" for some help in transporting his records across the island. The family members of the mill gazed in astonishment at how similar he looked to Mr. Marley but basically told him to get lost.
Needless to say, Bob didn't go off and immediately join a black heavy metal band, screaming "white people suck!' But admirably, went home and composed this: Cornerstone
"The stone that the builder refuse will always be the head cornerstone...the things people refuse, will always be the things that they should use."
As one of the half sisters said the song was prophetic- now the most well known "Marley," (the "head cornerstone") is Bob.
2) He may have smoked a lot of herb...but Bob was very rules based, even a disciplinarian.
Bob Marley did not just lounge around the beach all day, smoking a joint. Bob Marley played soccer, sprinted (even raced against his kids) followed the ways of a Rasta (which are more strict than I originally knew), and was always, always writing new songs...and if he wasn't it's cause he was on tour and singing his heart out at a concert.
Many nights he only had 4 hours sleep.
So much for lazy stoner.
3) He was a womanizer...but for different "reasons" than your average rockstar.
Call it an excuse but Marley wanted to be everything opposite of the Western tradition. If fidelity was part of that he went on his ample way to prove he wasn't and that he wasn't married. You listen to women say that Marley often wanted to "prove" his non-Western way of life with them.
Hmmm...jury's still out on whether that wasn't just a big excuse but he did seem to be much more reserved than your average rock star sex machine.
4) Bob's avid dedication to living the life of a Rasta was not racist.
I admit, I totally used to think that Rastas pretty much hated all white people. But this is really not the case. The belief does center on the most recent Messiah being in Africa, it believes Ethiopia is the "holy land" and is Afrocentric but in no way is it racist.
It's not rejecting skin color or saying any race is superior, it's rejecting Western lifestyle- particularly materialism and greed. In this way, Bob's message was very MLK: "I don't stand for the black man's side, I don' t stand for the white man's side. I stand for God's side."
One of the most touching parts of the Marley documentary was seeing Bob at the Kingstown peace concert trying to get the white leaders of two opposite political parties in Jamaica to hold hands...which he managed to do...above his wonderful head of dreadlocks.
5) Bob and his group of people escaped near death after some political gangsters walked up his steps and started shooting everyone in sight through the front door.
Oh, and this was days before Marley was going to appear in a peace themed concert for Jamaica...yes, some people are that f-ed up.
It's a MIRACLE that no one died from this attack but if anything it made Bob's faith in the goodwill of "Jah" (God) even stronger.
6) Bob's end was well...not fun:
Cancer's hard enough but if you are doubting whether you can be bothered to make your next check-up, let's see if this documentary doesn't convince you.
The cause of Bob's death started with a small instance of melanoma in his big toe years before. It's suggested that had he got it amputated and followed with routine check ups, Bob might still be alive today. On one hand, he wanted to keep his big toe to dance, which shows dedication, but on the other hand he still was neglectful to his general health...
By the time he had another check up years later there was cancer ALL over his body. The final pictures you see of him without his dreadlocks and all skinny and emaciated, you realize again what suffering this poor guy must have gone through. But he kept writing and singing until his very last breath...
7) Bob really really liked football ("soccer").
It's true I used to wonder why so often you'd see video footage of Bob Marley crooning down the mike in a soccer jersey. It wasn't just a fashion fad- he really, really liked the sport- he played it all the time and literally people would come in and out of his compound all day and play matches with him. It's also another reason why Bob didn't want to get his big toe removed...he wanted to keep playing football.
7) Bob really really liked football ("soccer").
It's true I used to wonder why so often you'd see video footage of Bob Marley crooning down the mike in a soccer jersey. It wasn't just a fashion fad- he really, really liked the sport- he played it all the time and literally people would come in and out of his compound all day and play matches with him. It's also another reason why Bob didn't want to get his big toe removed...he wanted to keep playing football.
Kudos to Kevin MacDonald and the Marley family for this film. It's a great testament to the man, the music and his influence. And like any good documentary does, it leaves you hungry to research more (I know a lot more a bout Rastas and Emperor Haile Selassie than I did before...FYI, check out Selassie's speeches, which are so amazing, you're wondering if he wasn't really the Messiah!?).
I have to end with the classic "Redemption Song." For me it's the most beautiful of all his tunes....
And before we do Bob himself here is my one of my favorite renditions with Lauryn & Ziggy:
Oh, and the Rihanna version:
And finally....of course....
Bob:
Bob:
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind."
xx
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Life Is A Highway
"My motto: Sans limites."
(Isadora Duncan)
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Hot Mess: The Modern Phenomenon
I was watching "Young Adult" and though I thought it was one of those movies that started out well- then drifted off into boring land, Charlize's character written by the one and only Diablo Cody really got me thinking.
Media-wise, we seem to be entering the golden age of...
THE HOT MESS.
Think about it. Who covers the tabloids today more than anyone?
Lindsay Lohan.
Closely followed by Rihanna.
And this isn't just low brow news sites and Twitter feeds. Hot Messes have infiltrated every part of our culture. Even politics, where the Petraeus scandal revealed some rather classy hot messes.
I really don't remember this much fascination and attention zoning in on women who are beautiful but whose personal lives are basically in shambles back five years ago. Do you?
Ten years ago Fiona Apple might have been one but she was in the indie scene and it wasn't quite as blown up.
But even when it came to reality TV and a full and bright cast like Jersey Shore, it was Snookie that everyone seemed obsessed with.
Snookie.
Something has happened. It's like we're a stone throw away from the female Hank Moody from Californication. And though I don't think what he does on that show would be quite as accepted if it was a woman, I think we're getting there...
It's like we're almost in some kind of weird post post post feminist stage.
Women who are successful can have whatever they want, pay for their upkeep to look gorgeous, have full careers but then act like like total playboys and smoke, drink and fraternize with the opposite sex more than was usually accepted.
But, like all freedoms, it comes with a price. And the price ain't pretty.
I didn't see all of the movie but you definitely got the feeling that Diablo Cody was infiltrating a part of herself in Mavis (Charlize's character):
That I-now-have-everything-in-the-world-and-yet-nothing feeling. Like, yes, she's a successful young adult book series writer and can still look extremely sexy while downing beers in a bar but then...well...she's also sad that she doesn't have the "traditional" girl stuff.
Rihanna's young and fun and a fresh hot mess breeze to polite society but then she's still yearning and clearly very much in love with a guy who beat her to a pulp a couple of years back.
And then there's LiLo...well that hole just never stops digging does it?
Funnily enough now that Snooki has a kid and is on the path of a "normal" life the spotlight is not so much on her. Yes, everyone seemed more obsessed with her when she was a train wreck!
Anyway, I continue to be fascinated by the trend...
Long. Live. The. Hot. Mess.
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The Great Seducers: An Introduction
Slam-dunk, we have a winner!
"Swoon: Great Seducers and Why Women Love Them" is the most enjoyable of the seduction books to hit the shelves recently.
I mean guys, wouldn't you want to learn from the real and confirmed ladykillers of history?
And as well as historical figures like Casanova, Lord Byron and Sam Cooke, the author interviews less conspicuous womanizers of today (by the way, a lot of them seem to be college professors...hmmm) and extracts something from their attitudes and view on life.
Even if you're not into learning to "swoon" or be "swooned" (and come on, who isn't!?) this book is just really smart and fun to read.
So here's the intro:
From the offset, the author declares:
"A few men have garnered the majority of women throughout history...they're sexier, more fascinating, more something."
The book sets off to learn what exactly that "something" is.
And far from the traditional image of the "Satanic Seducer," who we've experienced in numerous stories and popular culture that "loathes their female prey," the author says her research found: "An authentic woman-charmer doesn't despise conquests or seek their destruction:"
"Casanova was one of the world's greatest lovers. He admired and respected women and made their happiness his life's work. He treated them as if they were equals and undressed them as if they were his superiors."
Totally not what I expected but having watched a documentary on the Bio channel it confirms her point.
The book goes on to claim that "ladykillers aren't pillars of virtue by any stretch but they tend to fit the Casanova pattern."
This opens the door for some interesting stuff.
Many seducer archetypes are presented in the book, including the "Darwinian Alpha Male" and the "Heartthrob." In every case the fantasy image is set up to contrast to the real-life version.
The author even includes the "Player Seducer"- the type popularized by Neil Strauss' The Game and The Mystery Method (which I've previously blogged on). But one of the most interesting and successful types- "The Real Seducer"- is exemplified in Prince Aly Khan:
"Instead of cool and cocky, he was gallantry personified and put himself out to please women."
Far from being aloof, Khan "came on strong. Lovers said he singled them out of the crowd at parties and made a beeline for them."
Reading how he got Rita Hayworth is worth the story itself, as are descriptions of him radiating "sweetness," "softness" and "disarming humility."
Not usually characteristics you'd associate with a heartbreaker, eh?
In fact, the author insists: "Great lovers handle women with a velvet touch not a war manual."
Take Lord Byron, with his club foot and chronic limp, who had women going absolutely nuts over him. Sure he was amazingly talented but, well, let's put it this way, it might be time to play up those disabilities guys...(wow, how politically incorrect was that?)
By the end of the first chapter, we're told that the authentic womanizers of yesterday, today and tomorrow are the "best kept secrets" of our society.
Yes, they're not goody two shoes but they're not devilish destroyers of the opposite sex.
Even Jack Nicholson refers to himself as a "sentimental guy." And Angelica Houston stuck by him (despite his philandering) for 17 years, saying: "I saw such a wonderful vulnerable person...I vowed never to hurt him."
Of course that could have just been Jack's front but if so...it worked!
So what are the traits of a real ladies man, based on historical and present studies?
You'll find out...
...tomorrow...
...on Valentine's Day...
...in Part 2.
From the offset, the author declares:
"A few men have garnered the majority of women throughout history...they're sexier, more fascinating, more something."
The book sets off to learn what exactly that "something" is.
And far from the traditional image of the "Satanic Seducer," who we've experienced in numerous stories and popular culture that "loathes their female prey," the author says her research found: "An authentic woman-charmer doesn't despise conquests or seek their destruction:"
"Casanova was one of the world's greatest lovers. He admired and respected women and made their happiness his life's work. He treated them as if they were equals and undressed them as if they were his superiors."
Totally not what I expected but having watched a documentary on the Bio channel it confirms her point.
The book goes on to claim that "ladykillers aren't pillars of virtue by any stretch but they tend to fit the Casanova pattern."
This opens the door for some interesting stuff.
Many seducer archetypes are presented in the book, including the "Darwinian Alpha Male" and the "Heartthrob." In every case the fantasy image is set up to contrast to the real-life version.
The author even includes the "Player Seducer"- the type popularized by Neil Strauss' The Game and The Mystery Method (which I've previously blogged on). But one of the most interesting and successful types- "The Real Seducer"- is exemplified in Prince Aly Khan:
"Instead of cool and cocky, he was gallantry personified and put himself out to please women."
Far from being aloof, Khan "came on strong. Lovers said he singled them out of the crowd at parties and made a beeline for them."
Reading how he got Rita Hayworth is worth the story itself, as are descriptions of him radiating "sweetness," "softness" and "disarming humility."
Not usually characteristics you'd associate with a heartbreaker, eh?
In fact, the author insists: "Great lovers handle women with a velvet touch not a war manual."
Take Lord Byron, with his club foot and chronic limp, who had women going absolutely nuts over him. Sure he was amazingly talented but, well, let's put it this way, it might be time to play up those disabilities guys...(wow, how politically incorrect was that?)
By the end of the first chapter, we're told that the authentic womanizers of yesterday, today and tomorrow are the "best kept secrets" of our society.
Yes, they're not goody two shoes but they're not devilish destroyers of the opposite sex.
Even Jack Nicholson refers to himself as a "sentimental guy." And Angelica Houston stuck by him (despite his philandering) for 17 years, saying: "I saw such a wonderful vulnerable person...I vowed never to hurt him."
Of course that could have just been Jack's front but if so...it worked!
So what are the traits of a real ladies man, based on historical and present studies?
You'll find out...
...tomorrow...
...on Valentine's Day...
...in Part 2.
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A Bunch of Quotes...For V-Day
I was going to do the 2nd installment of "The Great Seducers" but the sentimentalist in me comes out on V-Day, soooo...
Here are some quotes from the wise and fabulous on the big "L."
These should keep you inspired and sweetly gushy, long into the night... ;)
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving deeply gives you courage."
(Lao Tzu)
"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires."
(Francois de La Rouchefoucauld)
"The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
(Victor Hugo)
"Love is a game that two can play and both win."
(Eva Gabor)
"A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years."
(Rupert Brooke)
"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."
(Plato)
"I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it."
(Audrey Hepburn)
"Come live in my heart and pay no rent."
(Samuel Lover)
"I can live without money, but I cannot live without love."
(Judy Garland)
"Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself."
(Andre Breton)
"If you could only love enough, you could be the most powerful person in the world."
(Emmet Fox)
"To say 'I love you' you must first be able to say the 'I'."
(Ayn Rand)
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
(James A. Baldwin)
"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not."
(Francis de La Rouchefoucauld)
"Love is the discovery of ourselves in others and delight in that recognition."
(Alexander Smith)
"Love is the greatest refreshment in life."
(Pablo Picasso)
"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."
(Mahatma Gandhi)
"The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, and the place where love resides."
(Audrey Hepburn)
"The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time."
(Laurence Durrell)
"The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time."
(Laurence Durrell)
And finally that famous one...
"Love conquers all."
(Virgil)
Because it does.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
xx
P.S. This totally DESERVED to win best R&B hit at the Grammy's!!
P.S. This totally DESERVED to win best R&B hit at the Grammy's!!
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(Stuff Of) The Great Seducers
Okay, boys and gals, it's time to find out what makes the great seducers...Great Seducers!
The author of "Swoon" splits the "je ne sais quoi" of the lady charmers into two categories:
1) Charisma
2) Character
Not exactly two mind-blowing words that haven't already been attributed to those who "get some" but still...
First, charisma has been lab tested (hey, I want that job!) and reduced to the basic formula of "self-confidence, an aura of authority, and communicative brilliance." And this is what they say that consists of:
1) Intensity: Womanizers are not lethargic or impassive, they have "emotional intensity," which, unlike other males, they are extremely unafraid to show. Casanova writes- "I was neither tender nor gallant nor pathetic. I was passionate."
2) Sex Drive: Well, duh!! But yes, in case you were doubting, ladykillers have bigger libidos. (As the Kama Sutra states: "The subject of this treatise does not concern men who lack a sexual temperament.")
3) Love of Women: And not just women they have sex with. Womanizers tend to have good, strong relationships with their mothers and also enjoy the company of platonic female friends:
"Casanova was never a man's man, although he excelled in daredevil masculine pursuits like spying and dueling. Coddled by his grandmother and other ministering angels as a boy, he was 'madly in love with the eternal feminine,' and preferred the society of women."
4) Androgyny: Wait? Really? Yes, apparently the guys getting the most action have an element of the bisexual about them, even if it's never acted out. They possess a kind of "double sexed persona" or a "feminine sweetness, tenderness and artistic sensitivity."
5) Creativity: Two words- Mick. Jagger. And he's used as an example in this book. The man is not classically handsome (obviously) but "he admits that sex is at the center of his Rolling Stones' performances." Would Mick have gotten as much you-know-what if he hadn't been an innovational rock star? Meh.
6) Quicksilver Men: Women dig men who are "indifferent to social constraints." "Libertines" is what they used to call them. Today it's classified as giving off "edgy excitement." Casanova was his "own master" and didn't care what others thought of him.
7) Flawed Manhood: Pure ironclad confidence does not get the girls flocking- it's confidence mixed with vulnerability. Girls like the "wounded imperfections" in their men. However beware of going too far: "The more extreme the flaws, the greater the need for compensatory attractions."
Now onto...Character!
Prioleau says "real Casanovas are men of character who possess core traits that persist through time and cultures." Here they are:
1) Morality/Virtue: Whaaaat? Really? The author insists "a bigger turn on are men who scramble the good/bad categories and are nice with spice."
Nice with spice..haha...I LOVE that.
So far from the "bad boys" we've come to think are getting all the action, real life womanizers tend to "make goodness charming."
2) Courage: "Women, in a recent study, said they valued bravery even more than kindness in men."
Women loved watching duals in the past because they thought it was hot when a man believed she was worth fighting for.
3) Spiritual Cultivation: Really? (Again.) But, yes, apparently "male spirituality is powerfully attractive to women and many slick operators have turned it to sordid ends."
Hmmm.
I do have to admit I was kind of turned on by that storyline in Mad Men between Peggy and Father Gill...2 words: Lapsed. Catholic.
4) Knowledge/Intelligence: Especially in Los Angeles, eh?
However, according to the author brainiacs aren't necessarily super-sexy, it's the guys who "sparkle with mental energy, surprise, amuse, instruct, up the drama, and surf the whole realm of knowledge- high, middle and lowbrow."
So know your US Weekly gossip as well as your Theory Of Relativity.
5) Social IQ: Classic ladies men seem to have the "gift of intimacy" and the ability to "deal with strangers."
You can have all the smarts in the world but if you don't have your social wits about you and the ability to connect with strangers...well...women don't dig you apparently.
6) Pleasure: The mantra of our romantically-inclined heroes was "relax, gorge your senses and let me show you a good time."
Casanova was the king of pleasure but added: "There must be a spiritual component...combined with connoisseurship and variety."
The author insists that even though we live in the modern sexually liberated times, pleasure has declined: "Studies show that Americans tend to defer fun and enjoyment." Note, she does not mention...Italians!
7) Self-Realization: Ladies men tend to have a "multifaceted personhood."
Women in surveys cite "achievers" as sexually desirable but not their tangible assets, rather their personal achievement in many dimensions.
Benjamin Franklin is cited as having the "sex appeal of an optimized, multi faceted personality." Basically, lady killers aren't just super-successful at one thing.
8) Character In A New Key: Diving off from the previous, Casanovas have many different sides to them but it seems they were personally, custom crafted to attract women specifically:
"Casanova, ever ahead of the curve, was an ardent advocate of cultivating desirability. His 'character,' he asserts in his memoirs, was the product of his own efforts 'to make himself loved by women.'"
Sneaky, sneaky...;)
9) Lassoing Love:"The real test in love is the ability to retain passion. Left to it's own devices, desire devolves through familiarity and habit into blah togetherness. Master lovers don't let that happen. They keep the sparks flying and maintain the ecstasy, using techniques of an uncommon, creative variety."
Enough said.
So that's the end of this chapter, folks!
Next post concerns less of what the great seducers WERE and more of what they DID.
So watch this space.
And James Brown...
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Friday's 5
Baba O'Riley- The Who
Pour Out A Little Liquor- 2Pac
P.D.A. (We Don't Care)- John Legend
Walk Of Shame- Pink
Carry On- Fun
"May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground..."
Happy Friday
xx
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Monday's Screenwriter Sayings
The Oscars happened, you went to sleep all revved up to do your BEST WRITING EVER the next day...
But in case you're in need of some re-inspiration during your lunch break, or pausing at the keyboard, having a case of the Mondays, here are some great writer quotes to keep the juices flowing:
"Any time you get two people in a room who disagree about anything, there is a scene to be written."
(Aaron Sorkin)
"Artists don't talk about art. Artists talk about work. If I have anything to say to young writers, it's stop thinking of writing as art. Think of it as work."
(Paddy Chayefsky)
"I'm so fortunate: I get to read and write stories and play-act and I don't even have to change out of my pajamas!"
(Robin Swicord)
"Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life."
(Lawrence Kasdan)
"I write because I enjoy sitting in the room making stuff up."
(Ed Solomon)
"I think the hardest part about writing is writing."
(Nora Ephron)
"I like purging my demons and fulfilling my fantasies."
(Amy Holden Jones)
"Someone said to me they felt sorry that I spent most of my days alone. They may think this, but the people I work with every day are a lot more interesting than the people in their office. The people I work with die when I tell them to die, make love when I tell them to make love, and cry when I tell them to cry."
(Scott Rosenberg)
"It's all about taking action- and keeping on with it, if need be- until something becomes, even briefly, more interesting to you than your own fear."
(Shane Black)
"Fortunately I am immature and naive: both good qualities for survival in this cesspool of an industry."
(Nia Vardalos)
"Every day for forty odd years I have relished that solitude to take an adventure into a space I have never traveled and back again on just the seat of my pants."
(Eric Roth)
"Whatever doesn't really happen in life is what I'm interested in. As a way of commenting on everything that does happen in life."
(Joss Whedon)
"That's the hard part- writing is all about the preservation of your own voice."
(Gary Ross)
"Screenwriting is no more complicated than old French torture chambers, I think. It's about as simple as that."
(James L. Brooks)
"No matter how diamond-bright your ideas are dancing in your brain, on paper they are earthbound."
(William Goldman)
"These things are important to me. These things I write."
(Charlie Kaufman)
"You need a bit of self-doubt to propel you."
(Akiva Goldsmith)
"You have to go to work like a grocer. You unlock the doors at whatever hour, turn the sign over, walk in, and start working."
(Tom Shulman)
"When people follow their own instincts and truly get to something unusual and fun and unique, then they can write something good."
(Nicholas Kazan)
"I write because I have something to say. Too many people want to be screenwriters but they have nothing to say, so all they can do is reference other movies."
(Amy Holden Jones)
"Eventually you get so bored that writing seems like a good alternative."
(Tony Peckham)
"I write to entertain. I want to keep people turning the page, whatever it takes, so that they don't put the script down."
(Jim Kouf)
And the final last words from a man whose stories inspired a dozen screenplays...
"When in doubt have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand."
(Raymond Chandler)
Good advice.
Good advice.
P.S. Just re-watched "Music & Lyrics""
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Kate
"It sounds really corny but I think if you're beautiful on the inside it shows on the outside, for sure."
Bubble bath music...
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T.G.I.F.
The weekend starts...HERE:
Dirty Diana- Michael Jackson
I Want You- Kings Of Leon
Hard Headed Woman- Elvis Presley
Don't Worry Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin
Poison Ivy- The Coasters
Angel- Akon
Little Devil- Neil Sedaka
Love You I Do- Jennifer Hudson
Bad Girl- The Miracles
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50 Rocking Years
Yesterday, The Rolling Stones celebrated their 50 year anniversary.
50 years???
Does everyone realize how amazing this is?
I mean its hard enough keeping a group of fiery British drug addicted band members together in the same room for an hour, let alone...
50 YEARS!!!
Nothing lasts 50 years these days does it?
Not jobs, not marriages, not friendships...but these men...however nuts everyone made them out to be through the decades, however much public opinion (especially in the beginning stages) called their music "evil" "demonic" and "sordid" are true living testament that...well...
...time is the great determinator.
Even from the beginning the Stones outward fun and recklessness would have made them appear to be the band most likely to break up. But even death could not stop these guys.
In fact, when Brian Jones' coffin went in the earth in 1969, it was widely assumed that that was the end of the Stones....
....but it wasn't.
They decided to re-group and get back on tour as soon as possible .
There must have been some invisible umbilical cord between the players, as much as they argued and bitched amongst each other like other bands (please see "Life" by Keith Richards for evidence.)
But if the Stones are a testament to anything, it's that when you put the work itself, make the music the priority rather than petty personal riffs and the trappings of fame, an authentic band can and will stick together.
In Keith's own words:
"You've got the sun,
You've got the moon
And you've got the Rolling Stones."
That awe-like attitude towards his own group pretty much sums it up
So as a 69 year old Mick Jagger takes the stage in the O2 arena in London before commencing the rest of the tour with his boys, you've got to re-consider the definition of what great rock and roll is about these days:
It ain't just about show
It ain't just about tunes.
It's about SURVIVAL.
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Mellow March Monday
Tunes to wind down to.
Every day of the week...
Wonderful World- Sam Cooke
She's Gone- Hall & Oates
Surfer Girl- Beach Boys
Life Goes On- Tupac
Runaway- The Corrs
Free Fallin'- John Mayer
Let's Wait A While- Janet Jackson
Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
Empire State Of Mind (Part II)- Alicia Keys
Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes- Paul Simon
Our Day Will Come- Amy Winehouse
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More March Madness
Lawdy, lawd.
The world is so out of balance right now, I can't contain myself.
However, there's good news too.
First, this seagull is finally getting his shot at fame.
And why not?
I mean, let's face it, he's a lot more interesting than a stone building that only let's out a few puffs of black smoke once in a while (hmmm...sounds a little like my ex.)
And my guess is Sammy the Seagull (yes, I've just baptized him) will have a multi-picture deal in no time. His skills will no doubt elevate movies into the Academy Awards category, just like that cute Jack Russell did in "The Artist."
Onto issue number two...
Kris Humphries should really not get too upset about how crummy ol' Kim is being to him because this picture's been circulating everywhere.
Ahaha. I think the next "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" should feature a trip to Sea World. And perhaps a "special event" synchronized swimming trick from Kim herself.
And finally, third...
Pac is dead!!
No, not the rapper the hamster.
Yes, J-Biebs' furry little pet unfortunately bit the dust yesterday but here's the good news...he actually got to be Justin Bieber's hamster.
Not only is this something most teenage girls would die for but the little fuzzball probably had a better life, qualitatively, than most human beings do living on this planet.
So don't feel too bad for him.
And who knows, maybe Pac will resurrect...
...in three days...
...and become our next Pope.
Until then, I'll be watching that chimney, biting my nails.
P.S. This update just came...we have a POPE!! Time for a manicure...
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Friday's Peppy Playlist
Walking On Sunshine- Katrina & The Waves
The Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra
Domino- Jessie J
Good Feeling- Flo Rider
I'm A Believer- The Monkees
Love At First Sight- Kylie Minogue
Mary Jane (All Night Long)- Mary J Blige
Shake Your Body Down To The Ground- Michael Jackson
Happy Together- The Turtles
I'm Your Baby Tonight- Whitney Houston
"Hold on and enjoy the ride...."
Have a great St. Paddy's Weekend.
xx
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Coming soon...
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Career OR Relationship: When The Best Is Both
Singles in L.A. (and I should imagine any metropolis) often proudly state that they're "not in a relationship" because- "I need to focus on my career right now," "work is my boyfriend," "I need to focus on me and my business, I don't have time for anyone else" etc. etc.
Okay, I'd be the first to admit it's better to be single than in the wrong relationship. However, I also think there's a danger in succumbing to this "either/or" scenario where you think great work sprouts from not being in a relationship.
Actually, the reverse is true...
I was researching the mega rich (I thought it would be fun to do an updated version of the 50s' "How To Marry A Millionaire" and make it "How To Marry A Billionaire") and 90% of them considered their relationship to be a huge factor in their gargantuan success.
Alright, so a lot of billionaires had been married multiple times but the point is they were, mostly, married and only a tiny minority were decadent playboys or disciplinarian celibates.
Furthermore, the billionaire men said they owed a great deal of their success to having a great woman by their side. Many rich females (Oprah aside) praised their husbands' support for their entrepreneurial achievements. Having the emotional stability of their partner aided their materialistic pursuits.
So why do we less-than-billionaires think that allowing someone into our lives will make "work life" go haywire!?
What I kept hearing after a break-up once was "oh, well now you can spend time with yourself"...and "great, now you can can focus on your work"..."now you get some alone time."
"Alone time"?!
Screw that!!
Writing has me alone, my side job has me alone, so guess what...all other times I won't be alone!!
I mean, otherwise I'm busy with me, and with my thoughts, and my worries, and as anyone who has ever watched a good Woody Allen movie might realize, this isn't always a good thing.
Yeah, so I might be going against the grain of "new age-ism" and "discovering yourself" but unlike Greta Garbo, I only want to be alone when I'm dead.
Sealed in a coffin.
Until then, I'm fine with frivolous company and/or good, solid intimate relationships.
Going through old dusty files and evaluating how productive I'd been over the years, I realized it wasn't when I was single.
In fact, the most output I'd had was during a 2 year relationship, which had for the most part been immensely happy and where I wanted the absolute best for him career-wise and he similarly wanted the best for me.
There was no jealousy, no insecurity, no feeling of only having one or the other....and, guess what, when there was- we broke up.
The truly "successful" people I see in Hollywood are those who succeed at BOTH. Career and relationship. They don't perceive one as compensating for another.
To prove my point, let's delve into excerpts from two best-selling business books:
1) "Think And Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill
2) "Maximum Achievement" by Brian Tracy
Both deal with different aspects of the same thing.
1) Napoleon Hill makes his "Tenth Step to Riches" (and remember, this guy interviewed the biggies back in the day, including Carnegie) the concept of Sex Transmutation:
"The men who have accumulated great fortunes and achieved outstanding recognition...were motivated by the influence of a woman."
Hill went so far as to say "sex energy may lift one to the state of genius."
Yes, that's right...genius.
But it's not through what he calls the "overindulgence" of sex (well, Hill was also writing at an earlier and more conservative time) but controlling the sexual urge and "transmuting" it into creativity.
Many of the millionaires he interviewed (who would be equivalent to billionaires now) "climbed to great heights of achievement under the stimulating influence of their wives."
Note: The wife "stimulated" them, she didn't cut into their time (to those who tend to get overly-clingy).
2) For a more modern day example- Brian Tracy dedicates a big chapter to proving that intimate relationships not only help but are essential to long-lasting success.
He quotes W. Scott Peck as having his favorite definition of love: "the total commitment to the full development of the potential of the other."
He goes onto say:
"In the ideal relationship, your mate will be your best friend. There will be no one in the world that you'd rather be with, share with, talk to or spend time with than your spouse."
And what's better than having that person "on your side" while you tackle the rollercoaster of career.
As Tracy says:
"It feels wonderful to go off to work in the morning knowing that the most important person in your life believes in you completely. And it is wonderful to come home at night to a person who has complete faith in your ability to succeed, no matter what the obstacles. Many of the most successful men and women who have ever lived owe their success to the unshakable positive expectations of their mate."
So when it's time to "focus on you" or "focus on work" perhaps yes, it's time to reflect on yourself and your goals, but maybe...should that special someone appear...it's okay to get in a relationship too...
And sure we all know those successful, eternally single bachelors and bachelorettes but for the most part they're pretty unhappy and/or searching for a relationship which (who knows) might make them even MORE successful one day...
Call me an idealist but I believe, and continue to think the key to success...real success...is having BOTH.
So here's to letting a little romance into our lives...it might end up being the best career decision of our lives!!
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8 Humpday Harmonies
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover- Paul Simon
Best Friend- 50 Cent
She's A Star- James
I'll Be- Jay-Z (feat Foxy Brown)
Candy- Iggy Pop
Step By Step- New Kids On The Block
"There cannot be a crisis next week.
My schedule is already full."
(Henry Kissinger)
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